carpal tunnel

I'm back!!!

2010-09-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

Errrrrrm. yeah, so... I haven't posted for about a year and a half now, which isn't any great loss to the advancement of mankind, but due to popular demand i will resume writing for all of you gorgeous boys and girls out there. You're welcome.

oh, btw. here's a picture of sexy sarah jessica parker as a statement of intent. BLOAW!!!

Listen to your mother

2009-07-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

Really do wish I'd listened to my mum, really do. I'd probably be a multi-thousandaire right about now, but I aint. I grew up thinking I knew better and the world I lived in was completly different to the one she grew up in and the same rules didnt apply. More fool me huh?

Anyways, there were a few things I did take on that have allowed me to function as a normal hu. scratch that, less fucked up and crazy human being than a lot of other folk, one of them was to stop stealing meat from the pot (didn't listen to that one, then when dinner time came guess who was short one piece of meat.) and the other one which has kinda kept me humble was - "You laugh now, then you cry later". Guess some mothers love their sons eh?

African Wisdom - Keeping brothers humble since 1983

Too Soon?

2009-07-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

With the death of Michael Joseph Jackson just under what, like, two weeks ago? I didn't really feel like saying my piece. Not because I was mourning or nuffin, it was just because I'm a bit of a heartless bastard sometimes and immediatly wanted to start making jokes. So i thought it was best for those around me to come to terms with it, and wait till i saw the facebook profile pics returning to normal. A bit like the green twitter pics going from normal - to green - to normal again.

It was sad, true, but I didn't know the guy. he made great music and directly influenced a LOT of people. Not me though. soz. Dont get me wrong, you wont see me jostling for position at the front of the queue to dance on MJ's grave, but you have to admit, this is pretty funny.

i couldnt keep these to myself much longer

2009-06-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

and heres the remix

geeez, im such a geek

Retouching Exposed

2009-06-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

go here:

detouch.org

hamazing!

2009-06-28T05:16:00.000-07:00

you're welcome

Summertime

2009-06-28T05:08:00.000-07:00

While all you muthafuckers are having fun in the sunshine, cavorting in your skimpy dresses and wife beaters, i have to walk aound in a fuckin haz-mat suit cuz my summmers are exactly like this:

now where's my facemask?

dubsin of da week

2009-06-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

Since ive been looking for a new job to tide me over for the summer, i've had a lot of time to waste. Most of that wasted time has been put to good use finding a load of bullshit to put on this blog, and refraining from using it as a platform to have a right old whinge & moan, (ooh the self control) and multiplying my geek points by catching up on all 146 episodes of fist of the north star and making a playlist on youtube for spiderman the animated series. you know, that one that used to be on fox kids.

Ive also spent farrrr to much time on gumtree to find this kinda shit to make you lot giggle

Author

Message

askcy

Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 4
Location: London

Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:09 pm Post subject: Why are single men in London so crap?

Can someone please tell me why guys aren't interested in meeting 25 single women, over lots of glasses of wine? London life is all about grabbing opportunities and meeting new people in this huge city..... the girls are up for it, but guys are just being crap. Could someone please enlighten me....?

Sid the sexist

Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 55

Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 3:39 pm Post subject:

Maybe nobody wants to come and drink cheap plonk with your misfit mingers. Let your thirty-something single women, who are having an "all my mates are married" crisis, drink cheap piss on their own.

SHAME.

Dance Dance Revolution

2009-06-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

Yo if there ever is a dancing revolution, i pray to Steve Jobs that this is the guy to lead it. happy monday!!!

a small request

2009-06-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

if anybody can explain this picture,

i would be extremely thankful

Oh dear. oh dear oh dear

2009-06-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

New exclusive!!!!!!!!! these recent photos have been leaked which shows the faces of on the run daily mail editors who have been running the paper for the last six years. the brothers, who can be named for legal reasons, have been the secret hand behind the day to day running of the paper and promoting the use of bogus witnesses and dodgy facts and figures like that dude in the wire.

suspicions arose today when completly useless and frankly racist poll was conducted as to if gypsies should be allowed to jump NHS waiting lists. you can join the debate here. be warned though, if you do selct yes just to skew the results, make sure you've saved your work.

HEY!!! where have you been Dani?

2009-06-18T08:22:00.001-07:00

OH. MY.DAYS!!! if you were born circa 1983-1985/6 you would remember boy meets world. this is the most recent image i could find of Danielle fischel who played Topanga Lawrence who got busted on a DUI this morning. Apparently there was a warrant out for her arrest as she skipped court earlier this year and got caught in the O.C. by 5-0 when they ran her name though the SOOPACOMPOOTA.

TBH it aint really BIG news, but yo, when a throwback like that comes to my attention you gotta blog it. Dont be surprised if she shaves one side of her hair, have some nudie pics leak out and then climb everest with her lips. Just sayin that's all, "random" shit like that happens and then a new album or T.V. shows pops outta nowhere like a sneeky fart. oops!

shocking behaviour

2009-06-16T04:21:00.002-07:00

this is toooo cool

2009-06-16T04:21:00.001-07:00

what to do if your girlfriend is cheating

2009-06-13T06:46:00.001-07:00

grown woman or space traveller?

2009-06-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

(0:00) By the order of the united galactic federation. planet earth will be destroyed in 1 century from now. I'm here to tell you the location of a big bad plane to evacuate all of mankind, plants, and animal. you guys need to understand why i'm here!!

(0:24) You guys don't understand what i'm saying right??

(0:32) Damn i'm right.

(0:40) Help! i need to get the heck out a here.. i'm hate of these stupid creature. "hapotato hapotato", what the heck was that??

yo big big obese tune!!!!!!

2009-06-11T04:43:00.000-07:00

came accross this little gem from the make me music camp. this eriki-ma remix of bonkers is a big ass choon and there sure will be more to come from the london based production team. check out more at myspace.com/chef82.

hip hop for the hard of hearing

2009-06-04T07:47:00.000-07:00

yo this is the best video EVER!

too too too funny

2009-06-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

i would usually embed this shit it it wount go through so ima put the link thru. but u HAVE to watch this azian nerdy boys rendition of a milli. biggups to 2shin for this

just because

2009-05-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

memories and concentration

2009-05-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

i saw this video

which i thought was quite impressive. and it is, impressive. but then, i saw the end of the video and was like "yo! its that dude from errrrm record breakers! so i tried to find the intro on one of those ooooh remeber the intro? kinda tip and you'd all bop along to the "cutting edge" 90's MIDI track in some kinda superior ironical kinda way but got distracted and found this instead

check out cheryl bussin moves

p.s. is lexiconogical a word? i used it in a argument and the person bought it. i feel guilty now.

doughnuts

2009-05-27T21:19:00.000-07:00

jeeeeeeez.

spanish fan humps reporter

2009-05-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

heheehe. dickhead. i bet he earns more than me

this is just unfortunate (SFW)

2009-05-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

FYI

2009-05-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

You know them scary sounds that you get in horror movies (ok they may not be that scary but they sure do increase the tension) well the instrument they use for that is called a megabass waterphone. pretty cool if you ask me

tbh bullying is a terrible thing

2009-05-26T20:34:00.000-07:00

psychological bullying not always a bad thing

failure is funny 2

2009-05-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

to be honest this is really dumb.... but i just cant stop laughing.

god bless the internet

2009-05-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

tonight ive come to the conclusion i am addicted to the internet. over the years she has grown to be my teacher, mother and secret lover. theres a hella shit out there to keep you amused, stunned and ROLFing for days. i love it and the people who contribute to my counter productive days. WOW! everyday is something new. aint like TV or movies noooooooosireee this is uregulated, unbridled, stalker training enterfuckingtainment. ima keep on puttin the best of the web but if you guys have got any suggestions or ideas to put up get at me!! but for now, to while away a couple of hours go here!!!! the idea is fantastic and to be honest i wish id thought of it first

WTF???

2009-05-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

you see i go over and over my blog just to see what it looks like to other people and i see the same videos again and again. this vid really freaked me out initially, but after a couple of views i get it. i actually get the concept, wierd and improbable as it seems mans have to chase after the dude th@ stole the protien (protein?)shake, and run thru the hole in the wall that he makes. if you dont make the same shape - your fucked. bruv i want a wii.

World Freehand Circle Drawing Champion (its more impressive than it sounds)

2009-05-26T06:54:00.000-07:00

hold on !?!? run that back!

2009-05-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

for the gamers

2009-05-25T12:02:00.000-07:00

Beyonce Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) AFRICAN REMIX!!

2009-05-23T02:35:00.000-07:00

na but for real this is funny and good

id h8 this to happen to me

2009-05-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

damn she doesnt even blink

games were so much better back then

2009-05-19T03:18:00.000-07:00

oh the memories

high fashion fail

2009-05-17T03:57:00.000-07:00

these are the people that give it a bad name

2009-05-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

this is just wrong. this is not what im expecting to see in the world pole dancing championships. i was looking forward to ex stippers with beer bellies and a 6th chin, bingo wings and a 70s muff so hairy it manages to stick the poor girl to the pole and her still tryna be sexy while you wait for the fire department. you know, like a browns or a sports cafe/bar or whatever its called down shoreditch high street, not this, this is like artistic and shit. im not even remotely ready for this. this is amazing.( this was amazing but apparently its not avaliable in this contry anymore. sorry slow pokes, check her out youtube shes got other videos under the name felix cane and she is truly amazing. go check it out)

faliure is funny

2009-05-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

lets play a game bitches

2009-05-13T04:57:00.001-07:00

we'll start with an easy one. name that tune

essex girls

2009-05-13T04:00:00.001-07:00

you know this can standadly happen if you end up taking the wrong one home. tryna do everything in your power to get shot of them short of tellin em your movin to Yemen. then they come out with this shit

niggaz be soft

2009-05-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

bruv u ain hardcore. this is so more hardcore than quick draw mcgraw

swine flu's a killer watch your backs

2009-05-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

too true

this is the reason i DONT like taking pictures

2009-05-12T10:41:00.001-07:00

another new (new cuz i just found it) site that makes you go crazy with LOLZ when describing it to your facebook "friends" that youve never ever ever seen in real life is this. actually substitute "friends" for penpals you internet addicted, lazy baby making youngsters who actually say el-oh-el cuz ya just cant be bothered to laugh out loud. cuz that's what they really are penpals... geeks

dude i feel your pain

2009-05-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

If you're stuck in an airplane at Philadelphia International Airport, don't even think about asking what the problem is. Unless you want real problems

my first foray into the land of nothingness

2009-02-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

start a blog start a blog she says. what the fuck am i gonna do with a fucking blog i aint got nothing to write about but going to sleep at 4 in the morning after enduring another stint of torture tv (5 channels)(no wait 4 real channels and a fuzzy one) and complaining about how i got no money, basically being bored, angry, suspicious and paranoid while still tryna fit in some quirky convoluted jokes here and there to make the damn thing read like charlie fucking brooker wrote it although with a flagrant disregard for grammer, syntax, punctuation a spellililing.

sooooo anyways i went to bed at 4 in the morning last night (hands up who saw that one coming? well done!) and got up at like 11 and felt i had to do SOMETHING with my day after i didnt go to any of my classes yesterday and spent the whole day in bed like a beached whale with a penchant for the constant fucking cycle of youtube - facebook - youtube - totally nsfw - facefuckinbook - and facebook and nipping off for a cigerette every now and then. (quick question: i your not leaving the house... is it wrong if you dont have a shower?). so i tried "fixing" my laptop which is been outta comission since the summer and have been to stingy to fix it or buy a new one (last time i download porn EVER) so i took it apart with a screwdriver and proceeded to bloodymindingly bash at it with the handle in the vain hope it will magically come to life like Jade Goodie's career. any way theres about as much point to this as watching a battle of wits between david beckham and stephen hawking but at least ive got my first post out of the way. happy now? bitch!

this week i will be mostly watching VGA (video game assholes) and so should you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn0WgvyT0Eg&feature=channel_page